Dear Anita,

Thank you for thinking me.  I did have a dream that my mother was back in my life as she was in the hospital and guilted my sister and I into arriving at her bed side.

It is true, the threat of suicide is the ultimate emotional tactic.  I am glad through my reading I have found objective ways to think about this – “if you are suicidal – you need help.”

You don’t need a text from me, a call from me – what you need is medical help – if you refuse that, I can not help you.

To be able to say this out loud is new.  I can’t say it would be easy if I was right in front of her – but I am not.  For the first time in a really long time I am not, and I don’t have to be.  For the reason I faltered so much was because I WAS right in front of her, falling prey to her manipulation time and time again – where did that lead?

Like you say – did it make her or her life any better? no

Did it make me or my marriage any better? No! In fact it has caused devastation.

I hope you had a good weekend.  I will write again soon.