Dear Craig:

I hope you rest and feel better soon. What an interesting development and a concrete example of an interaction with her, concrete and most recent.

Last night she told you clearly twice, that she didn’t want to work it out with you. You wished her well. This morning you canceled your airline tickets. An hour later she asked you via text if you cancelled the tickets. You said yes.

Next she said: “You are not my destiny. Last night I had the thought that we should go on the trip together and try to work it out.”

Next, you offered to buy new tickets, or undo the cancellation. Her reply was: No, that God had given her a clear answer (to the question: to be… or not to be with you)

My input: you presented your relationship with her in terms of attachment styles. I see a … more unsurmountable issue here and that is her impulsivity coupled with distorted and delusional thinking. She told you it is over. Then she thought to herself (if her account is honest): maybe it is not over. She didn’t know. So she asked god to let her know and he (or she) has let her know. So now she knows. For now, she knows. There may still be a sign-in the making, a communication from god or the like.

You wrote earlier yesterday about her: “When she was in a calm and attentive mood, she was a remarkably focused and present listener, and in those times, I felt heard and validated by her.” Unfortunately, she is also a remarkably focused and present listener of god and destiny, signs, meaning in random things.

anita