Mathilde-

I promise you WILL stop thinking about him eventually.  Sometimes we are more in love with the idea of someone than the actual person.  I see a few different issues

1.  You went ALL in before he did.  You fully committed to someone who wasn’t committed to you. I know because I’ve done it myself and not only have I done it…I did it for  2 1/2 years.

2.  Only liking 2-3 people by age 22 is not a problem. Some of us attach differently than others.  One year I went on FORTY (yes 40) dates and didn’t like ONE guy.  You aren’t alone.

3. Attraction for men and women is different and sometimes guys change their minds for reasons unbeknownst to us. Sometimes they are just immature and sometimes they realize you aren’t “The One” for whatever dumb or valid reason and they end it.  Women usually become more attracted over time, but men are the opposite.  So…remember it isn’t about you.

4. I’m not exactly sure what exactly you are missing so much other than the IDEA that perhaps you had met someone you thought could be a potential partner and you’re mourning what you wanted him to be and not what he is.  I know because I’ve done that too.  Sometimes we connect with someone for whatever reason and we think they are a good match but over time things fall apart.

5.  You may in fact have an Anxious Attachment which is why you feel so strongly about missing him.  I am also anxious and felt totally obsessed with the 2 1/2 year avoidant guy I dated so i get it.

My meditation teacher taught me this:  Whenever you think of him or the relationship instead ask yourself

WHO AM I?

WHAT DO I WANT?

WHAT DO I NEED?

Take the focus off of him and put it back on yourself.  It will get better in time. I promise.  I’ve been through it many times myself.