Abubin, thank you for posting. I don’t see avoiding as having to do with issues per se, but rather avoiding intimacy. I think people can and do change, as I have changed myself and I have seen others change themselves. In fact, change is one of the few things we can rely on in life, I believe. Whether my ex is motivated to change herself is what I’m trying to gauge. It doesn’t look likely, but I haven’t made my final conclusion yet. Without her doing some work on her habit of retreating into silence, I can’t see being with her again.