Hi Anita,

thank you.  This helps.  I’m having a hard time letting go.  I feel like i need to keep trying ways to motivate, to move to problem solve because these have such a negative impact to me. I am a very forgiving person. People make mistakes but i feel like when i make a mistake people are not so forgiving.  (my kids and husband are awesome).

I changed my job last year and moved away from the school that I felt was not funding equitably and the teachers would not stand up.  I moved to a private school that is closer to home and my kids can now go to. I expected half the class size and closer i would have less stress and more time.  I don’t. its different stress and i teach 3-grade levels so the workload is similar.  I thought having my daughter on campus, less commute, (like 2 hours less per day). less students would be enough to make up for any challenges.  I am finding it is not. It is definitely not as intense as last year, but still intense.  I have anxiety every night about which parent is going to complain, which child is going to complain.  I’m having to change all of my lessons and connection methods.  what worked in public is not working in private. so much work.

I feel like humans have this capacity to have a huge impact.  I feel like I just have not learned the right tool. I just need to read more and learn more then I can make a change.

how do i find calm when each day i could have a parent randomly come up to me and challenge the way i teach? i don’t mind the conversations, its just they take up a huge amount of my time.

so how do you “have the wisdom to know the difference”

I would quit my job and stay home right now, but we can not afford to do this in the bay area.

also when I talk to people I end up putting them on the defensive and shutting them down.  I do a lot of research and I’m very aware of a lot of different options/tools.   so when I talk with them I have thought 100 steps ahead.  I have multiple options and I know the facts.  All this does is shut people down.

My friend always says that I’m not content anywhere and cannot find collaboration anywhere.  It is true.. I found it once and then my principle unteamed us because we worked too well together.  (not joking).  I thought I would find a team at the new job, but I’m not people are too busy and don’t follow through.

I don’t know where to tangibly start with this …