Dear alex:

You got injured, was unable to walk for two months, gained a lot of weight, were anxious and depressed living home right following leaving an emotionally abusive relationship behind in another country. You were desperate when you met your current boyfriend. In those circumstances he was the knight-in-shining-armor.

Circumstances have changed since: you are walking, working out every day, planning to go back to school and finish your degree. In the current circumstances, he is no longer that knight, or savior.

It is similar to this, a visual: you fell and can’t get up in a deserted area. Anyone who will show up and give you a hand will be the best-thing-ever. You will not be thinking: how productive in life is this person, maybe I shouldn’t let him give me a hand. You take that hand gratefully.

Time to re-evaluate the relationship in light of the new circumstances. Ask him questions, for information, so to understand his  motivations and objectives in life. See if he does need and want your help. If he does, you can offer him your help and see how that goes. If he doesn’t want your help and is okay with his life as is, then there is a no match there, a lack of compatibility.

anita