Thanks for your comments and support, I thought I’d update you on what’s been happening. We spoke on the phone last weekend and he insisted on coming round to see me. He was high on cocaine and clearly after one thing. I told him it wasn’t happening and I wanted to know what was going on. He told me he didn’t know still, we were on different paths and he felt he was having a midlife crisis. He wouldn’t go and kept getting into my bed…I asked him to leave as we were going round in circles. I gave him a hug…it felt final, I wanted to say goodbye. Then he kissed me and one thing led to another…he ended up staying over and when I woke up in the morning, I felt furious..with myself and with him. I had to go out and o told him I needed answers before I left. He got annoyed and told me this is exactly why he doesn’t want the relationship…he told me he didn’t know what was going on still. So I told him I was making the decision and it was over, please leave. He started to get dressed and I went downstairs to brush my teeth. I then panicked and told him I was sorry, I’d just been through hell and I wanted to sort things out. What an idiot right?! He told me I was fickle and he was going but he’d call me later. I text him and apologiddd and said I’d be dropping his belonging round which I did. I saw his dad and his dad told me to move on and get on with my life..that his son was being awful at the minute. He was really apologetic…it was a really sad day and I felt distraught but I handled it with dignity.  He never did call me but a few days later I got a text asking if I was ok…I replied and said I was fine. Then a few more days passed and same message, I asked him if he was ok and he replied saying, ‘I’m ok’. Then two days later I had a phone call in the morning just like he always used to, completely normal..I asked him what was up casually and he told me he said he’d call and would call me later. Then nothing for 2 days…then last night a text saying, ‘hey’. I replied  saying, ‘hey, u ok?’ Then nothing back. Please can anyone advise me what is going on? Is he keeping the door open for sex? We still haven’t officially broken up, his fb status says he’s on a relationship..pics of us are still there..I don’t know why he keeps initiating contact then going quiet. I’m trying to move on but I’m feeling so confused and broken. Every time I hear from him it gives me hope but as time goes on I feel more and more like it’s been too long and we’ve detached from each other. I know it sounds like I’m being stupid but I’m devastated he is being like this after 4 years together. I feel like I meant nothing to him.