Hi Anita,

I saw my husband again yesterday. We spoke a lot about things. I realised that I feel a lot of responsibility and guilt for speaking with him. I know now that he very much wants to give things another try. I feel that he is much more certain than I am. He feels that it was circumstances and immaturity that broke our relationship down and that things would be different now, that we have learned from the past and wouldn’t repeat the same mistakes.

Now that I know this, I feel a lot of pressure to make things work if we decide to see each other again. I feel that just by seeing him, I should know that I want to be with him again. The truth is that I don’t know. I know that there was a time when we loved each other very much, and I haven’t been able to forget that. I know that if it was fully over for me in my mind I would have filed for divorce. But I don’t know if we would be in love again. I feel that I can’t know the answer to this unless I see him and speak to him, but as I said, I feel guilt for this because I don’t know what will happen and it will be like me leading him on.

We spoke honestly and I told him I will try and accept that he is responsible for his feelings and he is aware of the risks involved in seeing me so it is his choice to discuss these things. But the truth is that I feel a huge responsibility now because I know he will be upset if in a months time I realise that it’s over.