Dear Anita

What exactly was those situations in you didn’t want her to be happy or wanted to hurt her, in her opinion?

Also my question: is that inner voice directed to me? That I’m “ugly” ? or it is directed to her and she says outloud the same things to me.

Yesterday my mother told me that not only she sees “how I am”, because my friend who’s at my house sometimes, she also “nods” when my mother complains about me so she supports this opinion of me being messy, not organized etc. So it is not only her who sees how a person I am.

It’s a struggle between my recently new thinking that it is not I who is flawed, and she is just bullying me – and her convincing me IT IS ME, and other people think that too. She even said grandma recently said something about me making carrot salad in the wrong way (I don’t blame grandma she cooks a lot and she says a lot of advices, doesn’t criticize, I learned a lot from her) but my mother perceives it as “other people criticize you too, they see how bad you are so I must be right about you being this and that.”