Well there you go…my new job is ruined. I am a good person and people want me to fail. I’m a good person but I deserve nothing. You think I want so much but all I want are the basics. Respect, love, friendship.

Something happened that stressed me out exceedingly 5 minutes before I had to start work and that is after working my other job in the morning. I was contemplating quitting my early job because my other keeps calling me in on my days off which is giving me no time to rest or accomplish anything.

People must sense that I’m ripe to upset because I was treated rudely just because and I broke down and cried. I have been at this job for months, hiding my hurt when I am treated differently, criticized, laughed at. I ignored it all.

If emotions are not allowed in the workplace then annoyance, favoritism, entitlement. Those things should not be allowed as well. Everyone should be treated the same.

I focus on my job but I annoy some. I can’t make you believe that because you are not able to see it. A few I annoy for reasons I do not know, most ignore me, and a few think I am a wonderful person. The problem is the few I annoy go out of their way to make sure I mess up.

I stayed strong for months. Smiling, taking it, being productive, dependable, coming in whenever they need me.

You know right now. What is the point? What I say will just be repeated back to me. Also how many pages I have taken.

I don’t even know what to say right now. This job was my last hope but I had to be pushed to cry.

Several people joined in the effort. It’s like they sensed I was upset and took full advantage. I have to do another double today. I have to talk to someone who I feel wanted me to get upset about why I got upset. They won. I deflected so much but they are relentless. They never give up. They never give up. I don’t do anything to them. Why do they want to do anything to me? I asked crying last night..why? No one can tell me why. I want to know why. Why?

I have to pretend yesterday didn’t happen because once I have been broken I can’t stop crying and then the ones who thought I was wonderful won’t think so anymore and the ones I annoy are triumphant.

I have a severe headache right now from crying. No one is there for me. I do it all alone.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 9 months ago by Lisa.
• This reply was modified 6 years, 9 months ago by Lisa.