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Dear Joseph,
I would start a different place than trying to tackle the problems you mention head-on, because in my experience solutions and happiness often surface at the periphery of your field of vision.
I recommend that you write a narrative of all the things that are OK (and above) in your life. Perhaps you have cool friends, a rocking girlfriend, OK health, – continue in your own words. You are at a crossroads in your life and you need a foundation to leap from. Think of it as trying to jump in sand versus on a trampoline. Now, you should pin this narrative some place visible to you – so that before you speak to potential employers or write an application, you know that you are an amazing and unique person with a lot to offer. YOU ARE!
God speed!
Louise.