Dear JonathanSeagull:

I think it is fair and right for you to make a choice on the matter, whether to be a step parent (or a parent), or not. It is your right, an ethical right, to choose not to be one. Even after having been in a two  year relationship with the child’s mother. After all, you did not marry her.

Problem would have been if you spent a lot of time with her son and he got attached to you as a main figure in his life, one of three parents, I suppose. But you spent most of the time with the child’s mother on weekend when he was with his father, not spending lots of time with him, correct?

If I was in your place and the boy was not emotionally attached to me, I would be relieved and feel free to end the relationship. Again, you did not get married to her, did not commit to a lifetime with her. You didn’t promise the mother to have a lifetime with her, did you?

anita