Anita,

I can’t write everything out right now but I need some immediate guidance.

I’ve had a massive breakdown in Bristol. Last week I was not eating, sleeping, drinking recklessly and starting fights.
I attacked a girl on a night out, and now I’ve lost Noel.

Everything happened so fast and so quickly. I’ve been trying to apologise for everything.

Noel said he needed space but I was too manic and intense and didn’t give him that space and kept messaging, and I was mean, and he’s not even staying in his house cus he’s scared of me :'( It’s really really really bad.

We talked on the phone yesterday and I was trying to explain everything that happened and why it happened etc. but he had a go at me and said he didn’t want to talk, and he only phoned to say that he needed space. Then said that I didn’t understand his mental health and that I don’t care about hurting him, and that it wasn’t going to work :'( :'( :'(

He knows how special he is to me, and he knows that he’s the only person who has managed to touch my heart in the way that he has, and I’ve told him that he is the love of my life :'(

I’m in despair Anita. What we had was so innocent and beautiful, and now it’s gone and I can’t do anything to change that.

Cat