Dear Mika:

I suppose you came into this (now past) relationship with your issues, your unresolved conflicts and she came into it with her issues, her unresolved conflicts. I don’t know if there are any two people who enter a relationship otherwise. Issues may be big or small at any one time, upon entry into a relationship, but issues exist, on both sides.

Question is: are the two people entering a relationship willing to work together for the benefit of each other and the relationship; are the two parties in a relationship willing and able to help each other?.

You wrote: “I was hoping to find a solution that makes both of us happy”- this is in line with helping each other, you wanting to help yourself and help her in the context of the relationship.

Were there any efforts on her part to help herself and to help you in the context of the relationship?

anita