Anita,

Actually this was over a span of 7 months. Im currently 19, we met when I was 18. When I say immature, I mean the way he would handle complications with us. Instead of working it out, he would go completely silent and wait for me to text him or reach out to them. He would often blow up on me when he was stressed and would then go on to ignore me for days after. One time, I was at a friends house until 4am and texted him when i got home because he wanted me to communicate more and he got very angry at me for getting home so late and we argued about it for 3 days. He would do things that would make me angry, just to get a reaction like deleting my comments on his pictures when he got upset with me. It was hard to bring up more serious topics with him because I didn’t know how he would react or he would just ignore what I was trying to ask him. The list of things are endless. He was very hot and cold. One second he was telling me that I was perfect and too good for him and the next we was upset over something I said or did. There were obviously things I would’ve done better as well. He wasn’t all bad but definitely had some toxic qualities. Sometimes I think that maybe I just made him insecure by being younger, in college, and in his eyes “out of his league” and it brought out the worst in him. I don’t know. Seems like the most toxic relationships are the hardest to move on from sometimes.

As for my parents, I don’t feel like i’ve ever been worried that I would be rejected by my mother but what you wrote makes a lot of sense too. Maybe because I don’t like many of the qualities my father posesses that I also have, I feel like someone else wont like that about me either which makes me feel inadequate, rejectable, and easily dismissed.

Cass