I don’t know, maybe it’s just not meant to be.  It freakin sucks.  I love her so much.  Probably always will.  I wonder if too much damage has been done.  I do want her to be happy, but at the same time, we were so happy together. We really were. She even told me at one point that she hopes that her boys grow up to be like me.  Just a bad sequence of events that screwed up everything and me not being honest with how i was really feeling about things.  I keep hanging on to this thought of something happening again.  I wonder if i should just count my losses and cease all contact forever and focus on what  i do have in front of me.  But dang, this wondering if i could have her back…  It’s killing me.  I just found out her son is back for a few weeks and she is also going to visit her brother this weekend.  So timing would be horrible to bring this up to her.  I will have to wait a little longer.  Killing me though.