Dear Silva:

Yes, I ended a relationship with a person who was “very hurtful and self absorbed- not good for and to me”. I felt guilty for terminating that relationship even though my guilt was not based on reality, that is, it was right for me to end the relationship. Still, it felt as if I was doing something wrong.

My tips: try to separate your feeling of guilt from the reality of the situation. If indeed she is self absorbed and hurtful to you, it is the right thing to do, for you to end that relationship… even though it feels wrong. Our feelings don’t always indicate reality and do not lead us to do what is right for us.

Can you separate the two: the feeling from logic and then proceed what is logical to do, in this case, regardless of the ongoing feeling?

anita