Hi Brady,

I think everything your feeling is pretty normal. Remember, not everyone is in, or ready for relationships at 17, which is so young. You speak of being afraid of being hurt in relationships. It would be worth talking to your counselor about this, but I think this is a universal fear also. Just know these things and that it’s ok that you might not be ready emotionally for a relationship yet. Part of being in a relationship is investing yourself in the relationship that will inevitably lead to a certain amount of pain regardless of the outcome.

If you fear this pain you may endure a bad relationship longer than you normally would because you’re fearful of the pain that will come with a breakup.

Heartbreak is enevitable if we risk and make ourselves emotionally intimate with another person, even with our soul mates or life partner, we all end up going through some hurt and disappointments. Just know that it is OKay.

Try to focus on if you want to risk emotional vulnerability to have a relationship with a person, and if you aren’t ready for that or don’t know, than they might not be a good partner for you right now.

Just focus on yourself, and knowing that you will be okay if you do end up being hurt by a relationship. If we focus on being grateful for what the experience teaches us, than we will usually come out stronger and more ready for when the next relationship comes our way.

Also, try taking people out on dates. Good relationships aren’t just “hanging out” and a few dates are not a relationship, just spending some time exploring that possibility.

This is just my thoughts, things I wish someone had said to me at 17.

Jen