Dear Brady:

You desire a close, loving relationship with a girl and you fear a close, loving relationship with a girl. Both exist at the same time, in the same person (you)- a desire and fear of the same thing.

You fear a close, loving relationship because you already experienced getting hurt in the context of a close, loving relationship. Not with a girl but with someone very important in your young life, someone you loved, someone you reached out to. That someone did not reciprocate with kindness.

You wrote: “I fear that I will be in a disappointing relationship”- you already experienced that disappointment and you fear experiencing it again.

You mentioned seeing a counselor. I think it is a good idea.

If you would like to share more about that early disappointment, please do.

anita

I fear that I will be in a dissappointing relationship.