Dear Cat:

“Most of the time in them (nightmares) I am trying to make someone listen… I am ALWAYS trying to be listened to”-

The little girl that you still are, that little girl afraid and alone. She needs help, someone to listen to her and help her.

“or I am trying to save something or someone. Sometimes it is about saving animals from being abused”- the little girl, afraid and alone, needs to be saved.

I agree, BPD has developed over time, the symptoms came together to form that collection-of-symptoms, that diagnosis.

Yes, I do see the lack of mental health the root cause problem in society, absolutely. At the root of this lack is aggression perpetrated by parents toward their children.

Regarding the privilege of having accessible, affordable food, means of transportation, yes, these are privileges. You can have enough food in your stomach and get from point A to point B fast and easy enough getting on a train or a plane. But what about the privilege to not have nightmares? What about the privilege of a peace of mind in the morning, at mid day, at night and the next morning?

Regarding helping your sister: you haven’t helped her, have you; is her mental health better because of your help? I don’t think so.

When we are unwell, we only imagine that we are helping others. For example, you were good and helpful to Noel for a while, but then you weren’t, ended up hurting him. This is because we cannot help others when we are not well.

We delude ourselves thinking otherwise. At times we are helpful, feeding a stray cat, for example. But then, anyone and everyone is helpful sometimes, here and there, those random acts of kindness. But to be helpful on an ongoing basis, in the context of a relationship, that takes mental health.

A person cannot help but hurt others when he or she is unwell. If not overtly then covertly, if not with aware than unaware.

And so, to be a good person is to get well.

anita