Dear Inky,

I think because I never got closure from Kyle. Why he did the things he did, said the things he said. Answers i will never know. I feel a lot the way i did with Kyle like i do Jason. I was weak, and vulnerable. It doesn’t excuse my decisions and i accept responsibility for the mess i have created.

I am so made at Jason, for being everything Kyle was. They both knew one another. I didn’t expect it to be this way, Jason is 26 years older, i wrongly assumed he would be more mature in love, and my feelings. He was married for 17 years. So i find it so difficult to believe his persona of hundreds of women. He claimed it to be true for so long i couldn’t cope. Then confessed out of nowhere, all his insecurities, his fears and why he fabricated a life that is not true.

Yet, becomes so defensive regarding it, regarding the woman in Thailand. It makes me doubt if any of its true, or a cover story.. i really just am lost in all this.

Thank you for replying Inky, and thank you for taking the time to read this.