Hi Anita,

I feel you are correct about his low character…I tried not to read much in to his comment about building the house, but I couldn’t help but let it slip back into my thoughts in the past few weeks.  It sickened me when he said it because it made me feel hurt & like my feelings didn’t matter.  I would never say such a thing…Especially, when he let me know it would upset her and he took no thought into my feelings.  I don’t even think he noticed my expression when he said it to me…I couldn’t see my own face when he said it but I know in my Heart it was pure pain and hurt!

As I have been told by many & know in my Heart he is not the one for me.  He is selfish and I believe he only cares about his happiness.  He is repeating his life with his first family with me…I don’t have children with him but I use to be active in a cat rescue group and have 2 that we rescued 5 yrs. back…One was sick about 2 1/2 mos. ago and he never followed up with me to see how our little boys was doing.  I love them both dearly and thought about moving in the near future to get away from the madness and distance myself from him, but one thing that prevents it for now is the welfare of my cats.  As silly as it may sound, this is the only home they have known and the thoughts of moving somewhere new and possibly they could run away in a strange place, I am hesitant.  Maybe I will take my time and get all of my affairs in order and move next year.  I want to be 100% sure that is what I really would like.  I still have property and my home to sell before I could move and it is not an easy task for someone who is as broken hearted as I am to make such a life altering decision .

Just the thought of selling/packing/finding a new home & not even knowing where I would go is strenuous.  I have so many things to get rid of it is overwhelming.

I am starting to realize after 8 yrs. I really didn’t know the true soul of this man…I ask myself how could I have been so blind?  Most people say he was using me for a home & he felt secure with me…Maybe he saw me as an easy target…I don’t know.  But I can think myself to death and never know the true answer.  The thing that makes me realize the most about his character is he did the same to me as he did his ex, and they had 3 children…I never saw any remorses in him about not seeing them or any regrets about the way he treated her when he left.  I do remember a letter she wrote him say he was breaking her heart and she didn’t know if she could live without him…I should have realized then he was of low character.  I am sure he has told his new girlfriend about the few conversations we have had.  Probably to make her jealous…I remember his ex asked him to go to therapy with her before he left and only went once, he came over and laughed and said the therapist told them their was no way they would be about to work things out and the love was gone.  I thought it was a bit personal for him to tell about such a private moment with his spouse, but not to him.  He said she drove away crying and he showed no empathy for her.  I know it seems like so many red flags, but when we were together he seemed so loving, but I see now he can turn it on and off like a facuact.  And with all of the lies he has told me which I am now finding out about, I just feel foolish.  It was funny because a few month before he moved out, (me thinking things were fine at the time) we would go somewhere in his car and I remember the seat being moved back when I sat down & I did ask who had been in my seat?  He elaborated in such detail, nobody but you ever rides in this car. I just thought of that today is why I brought it up.  Things just keep popping up which fuels me all over like it just happened… I would like to grab him & slam his face into a brick wall.

Part of me would like to confront him with all I have found out & tell him what a scum bag he is.  What prevents me from doing so are a few reasons…He already knows what he has done & what a liar he is…I wouldn’t give him the pleasure of seeing me upset (because I know I would either get angry, or cry…and I would never let him know I still care.  I hope and pray in the near future I am able to forget about most of his existence and the life we shared together.  We are cut from 2 different cloths~

Bella~