Dear noname:

Emotionally, as adults, we keep experiencing the same experience we did as children. You feel as lonely now as you did as a child, same experience reactivated. Same experience take away the sexual need of the growing boy/ man that you became. First thing you mentioned about your childhood in your March 2017 thread was: “Growing up my mom was very depressed and my dad had anger issues, one of my strongest memories of childhood was my dad telling me and my sister that it was ‘our job to keep our mother happy”-

well, who kept noname happy?

No one. Noname was unloved, not attended to with love by his mother or his father. There is hurt in that and anger. This hurt and anger must be activated when you are in a relationship. The loneliness of not being in a relationship is an activation of the childhood experience.

What is your current relationship with your mother and what are your feelings for and about her?

anita