Dear John:

I don’t know about the imposter syndrome you mentioned. What I do figure is that this is the most recent thing the mental representative of your mother, the one screaming at you in the brain, is currently screaming: you are an imposter!

A child starts as one mental entity with one’s mother. What she screamed at you before, her mental rep keeps screaming at you now. Not only that, it finds new things to scream about (Imposter!)

I wrote to you a short while ago,  on your other thread, that you feel relatively comfortable living in your mother’s guest house. You wrote here that you made it beautiful.

Thing is, even if you did move away, far, far away, you will still hear her screaming at you. You will be taking her mental representative with you wherever you go.

Maybe one day you will be motivated enough to give up the relative comfort, that beautiful guest house, and then start and persist with a healing process, noticing, identifying, and over time, muting that screaming voice.

(What she told you, what her mental rep still tells you is not true. If it was true you wouldn’t feel distressed about what it tells you).

anita