For example, she lied to me saying she was in another state when she was supposed to go to court with me. I asked her about this and she acts like she has no idea what I’m talking about in person but later on in texts apologizes yet the next court date, told me she couldn’t go because she needed to get a tattoo. When she is dating someone, she ignored me when I was suicidal and reached out for help. Didn’t hear from her except when she needed something. i told her how it makes me feel, she cussed me out over text. Yet when she breaks up she tells me how much she needs me, apologizes and wants me to live with her again. It’s like I am just here when she is bored or depressed she LOVES me, and I fall for it every time. She invited me to a concert recently, which I was not planning on going to. Last minute I agreed to go. She ignored me and turned away from me to talk with other friends and exclude me. She mocked me and avoided me when I knew no one else there. I thought “why did she beg me to come if she wanted to treat me like this? I made some new friends, holding back tears the whole night. The second I walked away from them, she yelled at them without reason. She always talked shit about my friends and family, even when I would tell her they have not done anything to me and I care about them. Lately I do not even enjoy being around her anymore. When she says nice things about me, I think of how many times I’ve cried the past couple years because she’s done a lot of other mean things to me, stolen, dishonest, disrespectful of my things, did nothing and partied when I OD’d. I think, “how can she say these nice things to me but treat me like this?” She never even validated my feelings when it was really hard to bring up how I felt. I want to let go. But I know I will have to get through this loneliness and depression and find my own way, but I do want to do it. I will be better for it and happier with new people. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist coming up. Therapy and being able to talk to those few people I know will validate my feelings is getting me through, my family and friends never did this. My family is better now, but I know I need more connection then them, especially because they sometimes fall into the same patterns again. I will try to post here and talk instead of going back to this friend when I feel lonely and confused. I talked a lot about her with my therapist, sharing more of the past years with her and she was concerned and said she seems abusive