Dear MissUnderstood:

From the little information I have I would say that I don’t see a reason why you can’t trust him. He may very well be a trustworthy man.

You wrote that when he was single he did meet women at bars and went home with them with the intent to have sex. It makes sense then that he met this woman while in the relationship with you and took her home with the same intent, as he said he did. It would read likely to be dishonest, to me, if he told you that he blacked out and found himself with her at his home or that he brought her to his place just for company.

It also reads honest to me that part of the reason he didn’t have sexual intercourse with her was because he didn’t have a condom around. First, it suggests that he is not prepared to have sex with women he meets at bars, not having condoms in his place for that purpose. And then it reads more honest than if he would have not mentioned the condom, telling you that the only reason he didn’t have sex with her was because of his loyalty to you.

I would say that this incident requires an improvement in communication between the two of you and a discussion of what he will do differently next time he finds himself in a similar situation, what he will do instead of going home with a woman.

Improving communication so to prevent any fighting between the two of you (unlike conventional thinking, fighting/arguing is not necessary in a relationship!) will make it way less likely that cheating will occur. The less distress in a relationship, the less motivation a person has to find relief elsewhere.

anita