Dear rach:

I too disagree with what your friends say, that “If he doesn’t stop drinking, then he doesn’t love you”- his drinking has nothing to do with love and everything to do with his habit and his motivation to feel better. This statement (quoted here) can be harmful to you, really, because it suggests that you have power over his drinking.

You asked, “when is it time to say ‘I love you and want the best for you, but it’s time for me to walk away’ or the sake of my sanity and happiness?”-

I would say now is the time. His drinking habits are severe enough to disturb and distress any person in a close relationship with him, I think. I suppose part of your motivation to help him is the motivation you had, did you not, to help your mother?

anita