Hello Anita!

I remember my girlfriend actually telling me she wants me to “take control” and be assertive. It seems like she actually gets angry when I’m not assertive or when I make myself smaller than I really am. But once I’m there, a smaller version of myself, that anger she has towards me just makes me feel even smaller.
Is this anger what you mean by her not encouraging me to be assertive?

I’ll try to rewrite my last paragraph:
I have some reoccurring negative thought-patterns about my self worth and feeling helpless, bored, lonely; it’s a little bit hard to describe that mental-place, but it’s the mental-place which comes when I’m at home and I start isolating myself.
Often when I try to open up and share this with other people, it makes them withdraw, makes them insecure about themselves and sometimes angry as with my girlfriend. I guess this feeling that I’m getting at is a feeling of being isolated or connection-less or not good enough, and sometimes when I share it with others they’ve told me they feel like they’re not good enough for not knowing how to help me feel better. And my question was whether this negative thought-pattern is something I just need to “snap out of” or if it’s something that actually deserves to be validated by myself or others.
Whenever I start feeling like this I just want to shy away from people in response to experiences having tried to share it in the past; my parents for instance, not knowing what to say to me or how to handle it, making me feel even worse and more lonely.
I fee like this hurdle of negativity is something I need to get rid of in order to be loved or have a connection with people since the distance I feel towards people has grown when trying to share it.
Was this more clear? It’s not 100% clear for me either, so that might be why it becomes unclear when I try to communicate it.