I never really thought about how my friends let me leave if I’m completely honest… We knew of the guy as he was notorious for treating girls awfully and sleeping around, which I guess makes it even worse that they let me leave.

I guess best case scenario, we’re civil when we see each other, and we can meet up for a coffee to chat. I still really really care about him, I want to know if he’s hurting and how much he is hurting, and I want to know what he’s up to. It kills me that I just have no clue. I really want to be back together with him, but I know deep down that will never happen and he doesn’t want it to happen. We were only official for about a week, and only knew each other for about 5 weeks. It was way too quick for me and I did tell him this at the time. We spent too much time together and everything happened too fast. I have a massive fear of commitment, and had just come out of a messy breakup where I found out that the guy I was with had a girlfriend the whole time. (I found out about 3 days before I first met my now-ex). Everything was destined to end badly, I just wish it hadn’t ended this way and now I can’t forgive myself, nor can I move on. I don’t even know where to start.