Dear Cali Chica:

Habitual behavior: you are tired, distressed, and your nervous energy is expelled out of you as mindless, inattentive talk to your husband in that frantic and frenzied way, as you put it.

Aimed behavior: you are tired, distressed, you calm yourself best you can while not talking to your husband. When you do talk to your husband, talk mindfully, attentively.

Whenever you notice doing a behavior that you do not approve of, a behavior that is habitual, aim at the behavior you do approve of and do it. The new behavior forms a new neuropathway, a series of those, I suppose.

Persist at it, do the healthy distractions, rest, pace yourself.

anita