Hi Anita,

Thanks for your comment. I don’t consciously do anything different but after what I experienced I promised not to  allow anyone to make me feel so helpless again. I see my partner and I as two seperate people who choose to be together. We have been together 24/7 for six years now and it still works!! When I first got with my partner I told him what I had been through and that I had promised myself that if anyone treated me in that way again I would be out the door. So he knew the score from the beginning. Luckily I have met a caring, thoughtful person and we are very compatible. We have the same values and outlook on life but have our disagreements too!!

We have been through tough times and we are both still working through the aftermath of trauma but we still find the humour in life and appreciate each other. I know I could live without him. It would be difficult and it would take time but I know that I would be ok on my own. Some people wouldn’t understand that way of thinking but like I’ve said, we all have to love ourselves and put our mental and physical welfare before anyone else. I expect my partner to do the same. I am still suffering the damaging effects both physical and mental from my last relationship. (I now have a chronic health condition which is worsened by any emotional stress.)

My ex had a lot of emotional issues which she took out on me. I tried and tried to help her and I fought to keep the relationship but it takes two to make a relationship work. I realised that I was not responsible for sorting out her issues. Yes, I could support her but it was her responsibility to sort out her ‘stuff’.

Anyway, I hope that is of some help to you.

Anne.