One more thing: He told me many times (and I believed him) – that he would always put me first, my feelings and would always care about me in the first place, he wouldn’t even care about his own feelings, I would be number one always, forever. Because “that’s how he is” (Not that I would want that specifically to be more important in a relationship but it was nice he had this intention). But when something happened like this time when he ‘felt too much pressure’ and couldn’t do it we only talked about his feelings. I told him I feel really bad and I’m afraid it’s my fault and that I’m ugly, he said ‘no it’s not your fault, it’s my head’. And then we talked about how he felt, what he wants, how I didn’t make him feel comfortable because he felt insecure, how he would like it and what he wouldn’t like. how I left and how he was sad and how that made him feel, how he needed me to be there and help him with this. how I made it difficult for him because I didn’t show him I want this (?). I don’t see this as putting me first and I don’t see this as caring about my feelings at all. I felt like he needed to be taken care of and I couldn’t give this to him, it was too much. He didn’t even ask me why I left and why I reacted this way. He didn’t care. I cried when I got back, I needed him to say something right, to do something. He only talked about how he feels and how I didn’t show him affection enough so that HE would feel comfortable having sex with me. Sorry but that’s how I see it. I know you are probably right and I agree – he said he had feelings for me, I did this without feeling the same, not a good idea in general. and I thank you for saying this, you know I always value your opinion and for sure I will never do this again to anyone in the future, I’m glad I realized that.  But I feel misled too, and I think he lied to me.