Dear Amelia:

You wrote, “I can’t decide if it’s a me problem.. or a him problem”- after reading your post it seems to me that it is a you-problem for the following reasons:

1. It is not realistic for a woman to expect a man, a boyfriend or a husband to no longer feel sexual attraction or affection for other women.

2. There has been no evidence of betrayal of you on his part and reads to me that he has been honest with you throughout.

3. Reads to me that he endured a lot of distrust on your part, went through distress and still persisted in the relationship with you.

Having stated the above, it is possible that he is not a good match for you. You may feel more comfortable with a man who is not inclined to have a file of naked photos, who is less sexual than this man, maybe one who believes and practices sexual celibacy before marriage, or the like.

Let me know what you think, if you’d like.

anita