i just came out of a year and a half relationship with my ex girlfriend, we had been on and off most of the time,but this time i decided not to go back and ive met someone new and she is great the total opposite of my ex sweet, thoughtful, kind, loving, selfless, loyal, a hard worker, not alot of which i can say for my ex, but for some reason i fell so deeply in love with my ex like i never have any woman before eventhough she cheated on me several times lied to me was verbally and physically abusive sometimes, she has major depression and boderline personality disorder and heavily medicated most of the time. When we had first met and been dating for about a month, she scared me she got upset with me for not liking too many guys calling her phone while we were out on dates,and tried to jump out of my car while i was driving i pulled her back in and immediately took her home, as soon as we pulled in she jumped out of my car and took off running leaving her phone behind, no idea where she went, so i took her phone and placed it on her backdoor step and told myself im not doing this and i left but i was concerned about her and wanted to make sure she was ok, so i contacted her the next day and we began talking and going out again. As we began to know each other a little more i learned that shes been that way all her life struggling with depression loneliness and had attempted suicide several times in the past way before i came along, and i asked myself are you really wanting to go through this in a relationship? i didnt want to but i wanted help her and before i knew it i had fallen in love with her, id never dated anyone like her before with so many issues and someone being in trouble so much she had arrested a few times for shoplifting she had been in fights with people from roadrage incidents and it was scary being with her because of her violent temper, i tried to keep her from doing those things and keep her out of trouble, i went to court with her alot when she was facing charges and i supported her thankfully she only got probation. when i met her i had no clue but her life was a wreck, she was having seizures from stress and anxiety in which i tried to help with and i figured out that some medication she was taking was actually causing her to have more seizures on top of her stress, so i called her doctor and asked him if he could take her off of it and he did she had been suicidal while on this medication as well so he did not prescribe her anymore and i was very thankful because after that she stopped having seizures at all and not suicidal like before. i like to think that hopefully i made some difference in her life. I helped her take care of her three children as well, living with her and them and being responsible for many things. Everything is going well with my new girlfriend right now but i still feel this emptiness missing my ex, eventhough it was a wild and volatile relationship and i know wasnt good for me because i couldnt trust her we had undying chemistry and connection something very special that i never had before and some things about her were great like she was very nurturing and kind to me when i would be feeling down or crying. We laughed together some too and just got used to each other and the sex was amazing like the best ive had, i believe mainly because i was so in love with her. Shes attractive and is my type, she was the woman i had dreamed of the day we met everything down to her beauty her eyes the way she talked and her personality she was my dream woman for sure, but it was so hard being in a relationship with her dealing with all her anger being violent and verbally abusive to me, i kept telling myself i love her and thats just the way she is, but it hurt me inside alot to hear and see those things from her on top of the cheating, no transparency from her and sometimes felt like she was using me. i walked many times but i always went back until now, i couldnt resist her she was so special to me and i committed myself to her and took alot of things from her like i never did from any other woman. i knew she had alot of problems and i wanted to solve them all and help her to be happy but i figured out eventually that i cant fix that for her it has to be her that wants to fix it.