Dear Anita,

I think you hit the spot. I do feel that way. I guess as everyone I would like to be approved fully for who I really am or what I did. I know it is probably impossible, like you said “every thought about something wrong” because as of right now I feel bad even for the slightest of things that I don’t tell him like if a random number calls on my phone, I feel the need to tell him so that he knows and won’t think anything bad just in case he finds out about it. Maybe it’s because I still feel scared that he won’t trust me completely ever again.

I am feeling a lot better than before, I’m accepting that I might just have to keep some things to myself for the best of everyone but at times I do feel like I want him to be okay with everything that I did, but reality is he might not and that is what makes me sad, makes me feel like I am a bad person because he wouldn’t be okay with everything I did so I must be bad and even worse when I think he thinks  I have been completely honest already when I haven’t. I have tried my best though, thinking that keeps me going.