Dear Nichole:

First thing to do is stop contacting him, stop talking to your family and to his family about him, no longer stalk the women he talked with on Facebook, in other words, control your impulsivity, calm down, prepare for the long term stay in Chicago (that is, not going back to Florida anytime soon). Settle down where you are.

There are support groups you can attend, where you can talk about what happened and share your thoughts and feelings, groups like Coda perhaps. Psychotherapy/ counseling can help too.

Regarding the three years you lived with him, you mentioned that you were verbally abusive to him, way before you discovered his cheating activity. How did you verbally abusive to him, what did you say to him during those years, in what circumstances, how often and how did he react?

anita