Dear Dorothee:

You wrote that without a partner, you feel that a part of your heart is missing, that “the feeling of being with someone in a relationship” is important to you, and, you wrote and asked: “I fear being alone so much, what should I do?”

My answer: if you are still broken up with this particular man, then look for another man to be your partner, but this time, a man who will be a good partner to you, one with whom you will have a healthy relationship, not a “toxic relationship”.

What I would do, if I was you, would be to find people to be around, at this time. Maybe a support group, Coda, maybe, people coming together to share their thoughts and feelings in a safe, respectful environment. At the same time you attend such a group or otherwise have some social support that is not toxic to you, look for a new boyfriend.

But not just any boyfriend. You can list what you need in this future boyfriend, then as you “interview” prospects see if this or that man has what you need, for example, is he respectful to you, does he listen to what you say empathetically and respectfully.

anita