Dear K.P:

The first and most difficult thing to change about yourself is this: “I’m a perfectionist, so I’m obsessed”. You have to change your incorrect belief that it is possible for you, or for any human,  to be perfect.  You have to learn to be gentle with yourself for not being perfect, for not functioning perfectly. And you have to learn to be patient with the process of learning and improving yourself.

Neither you nor anyone can always be “very focused, determined and optimistic”. You are not a robot, a machine that can be programmed to always be a certain way. We can’t feel the same all the time, neither can we function as well all the time.

There are things you can not change about yourself, your height is one that you mentioned. Can’t change that (other than wearing high heel shoes, I suppose). There are things you can change relatively easily, of what you mentioned, these would be your hygiene, fashion sense, nutrition, education (at least academic education), activity level.

And there are things you can change but it will be more difficult to do and more time. Of what you mentioned these would be: “lazy, impulsive, insecure, dependent… no hobby.. shy… health.. lose weight.. fit.. high grades, more confident, extrovert, focused, peaceful, independent”.

Back to patience, you will need lots of that. Can’t tackle everything at once.

anita