Hi Dorothee,

That happens a lot during meditation. The mind starts to drift to concerns of the past or future.  The single best thing I’ve learned from meditating is that I have the power to detach from all these concerns, and for me, knowing that I have this power is very important. Every morning when I wake up I know that whatever difficulty I face in the day ahead I will address, do my best to get through, and then detach from (let it go). That’s my daily motto!

I think the best way to make friends is to be yourself. I know, it sounds so cliché, but it really is true. You may say that you’re not quite sure who you are yet, and that’s totally normal. So what I would do is write a list of qualities that you think are important for a person to have, qualities that you want in yourself. For example, one quality that I want in myself is I never want to be someone who gossips about another person, so no matter what I won’t gossip. When other women come to me to tell me what so-and-so did, I just listen. I never add anything to their story. Another quality I want in myself is I choose my words very carefully. I never talk just to fill the silence. I stay quiet until I have something of value to say. These are two qualities that I admire in other people, so many years ago I decided that I wanted to have these qualities myself. So I made the decision that these are who I am, and I stick to that decision no matter what. I’m very stubborn that way (lol)! My list is long; yours can be too. So my point is, before you return to university, you get to decide what your values are and the qualities you want in yourself, and after you do, you can stick to it. Don’t change your values in order to get someone else to like you. I think that’s the best way to make the right kind of friends….and also to find the right partner.

Also, I believe that many universities offer free or low cost counseling services to help students get through anxiety and other problems. I would find out what your university offers and make counseling a priority in your life. I wish I had done that back when I was in college. What do you think?

B

• This reply was modified 6 years, 3 months ago by Brandy.