Dear Naia:

A lot of our relationship troubles in adulthood follow some trouble in our first ever relationship, and that is with our parent or parents, most often it is with the mother, the most present and dominant parent.

This is why I asked you the questions I did. I will ask you two more questions at the end of this post, but please, feel comfortable to not answer those. I am okay with that.

Most people prefer to not talk about their mother, afraid to speak against her in any way, and prefer to focus on the adult relationships. Doing so is like baking bread again and again without yeast and wondering why it is not rising, why it comes out flat. Maybe it is the heat in the oven, so you increase the temperature but it still comes out flat. Maybe it needs more sugar, so you add sugar… still flat. Got to get to the root cause and add that yeast.

That yeast in your case, I believe, is insight. My purpose is not for you to turn against your mother. It is to get insight so that you can improve your future relationships and live a better life. And so, I ask, regarding your most recent post: “she knows how to put somebody in his place if he behave inappropriately”-

How did. does she put others in their place?

How did/ does she put you in your place?

anita