Dear noname:

You wrote: “I have to people please in a way to continue to get what I need until I can be 100% financially independent which is less than a year away”.

I wrote in response, referring to your people pleasing as your behavior: “It is now that you need to stop this behavior, not later”.

More about my position on the matter: if there is to be a situation where you will feel 100% financially independent, then there will be no risk to you to stop people pleasing. No risk-> no fear. In this scenario, you did nothing to overcome your fear, to lessen it.

This is why you have to stop people pleasing now, because there is a risk. This is the time.

But in small bite pieces, a bit at a time. A bit, wait and see, then proceed. It doesn’t mean you fight with the man behind whom you live, for example. But you don’t people-please him either. Having gotten to know you over extensive communication on your thread, it is my understanding that this is the way for you to move beyond your long standing state of fear of people and anger at people.

anita