Hello Anita,

This is not an easy question for me, that’s why I`ve tried to answer it a couple of times before but didn’t make it to the end.

I believe that during the last phase of my relationship I wasn’t giving enough attention to it, I was focused on my personal goals and had lost most of the curiosity about my partner. At that time we didn’t have many future plans together (even after almost 8 years of relationship and living together) and I felt that she wasn’t very supportive so I decided to focus on myself regardless of it. Obviously, things started to fall apart…

After the brake up I realized that she was going through a tough phase of her life and felt like I was the one who should had been more supportive and blamed myself for the end of relationship. As I said, we never really lost contact and got back together for another 6 months.

This time, however, I made it (the relationship) my primary concern. I realized that this was the only way to go, otherwise I could not have any better output. What I have realized, though, is that she was absolutely the same. She was still a very negative person and all those things that I though that I could have helped to fix being more present and more supportive were all there. We started to plan our future together, but our expectations towards life were very different.

It become pretty clear to me that we are not compatible. Period.

That said, I must point that she was honest, hard worker, loyal and intelligent (besides being beautiful) – and I really value these qualities. Also she treated me very well (during the good times) and I really miss our intimacy/chemestry which I don’t know if was a result of all that time together or a natural thing. Maybe a result of both?

So today I keep comparing women to her – or to the version of her that I have created in my mind – one that have never existed.

Thank you once again!