Dear Eva:

Are you really forced to attend that family event?

Let’s say you really want to attend that event, how  do you protect yourself is the question, how do you prevent trouble and if it happens, what do you do, my suggestions:

1. Let your sister know that you have empathy for her for having the mother you both share, that you hope she attends quality psychotherapy to heal from the injuries she suffers from that horrid childhood, and let her know in no uncertain terms that the current status from now on, until further notice, is that there is no communicating between the two  of you, including during the family event.

2. Be prepared to leave at any time, having a vehicle/ someone to drive you at any time during the event. This way you know that you can leave at any time.

3. Ask a friendly and dependable relative who also attends the event to provide you with a protective shield, standing between you and your sister if she approaches you, being ready to separate her from you if she talks to you.

4. Keep your part of #1 and do not react to her, do not communicate with her, even if she screams at you (#3 should intervene in that case and #2 is available to you as well).

anita