Hi Anita!

I must agree that this desire to be number one, or recognized as someone who is very good at something, is an issue. Actually, this is what lead me to start developing my spirituality a couple of years ago, when I discoreved buddhism and this website. Since then I have changed my attitude a lot and I feel much better nowdays. I don’t really think that I must be the best at anything to not be rejected, I know that my family and my friends love me by who I am and I dont need any more gold medals to deserve this love. That said, I still try to do my best, what sometimes put me in a prominent position, but that’s because I love what I do and it doesnt hurt me or anybody else. I think I have made a good job changing my intention and not letting the desire of being number be, as an end in itself, the source of my intentions or motivation. It seems, though, that I still have some work to do regarding it in the context of my past relationship. I will reflect about this thing of a ”number one woman”, it makes a lot of sense!

But also here is something that Ive questioned myself yesterday and I would love to know what you think:  Am I being a bit too harsh on myself regarding this break up?

See…

I was told my ex is in a new relationship, got curious about it and and felt a bit sad since it made me remember some things (both good and bad) about our relationship. I tried to explore my feelings with curiosity and did nothing about it besides watch them come and go… Life went on and a couple of days later this is not really bothering me. Sure, I felt a bit down when I saw that the guy and that she has moved on, but is it that bad? Is it that bad that sometimes I think about her and miss the good times? We were together for almost ten years… I’ve become and adult with her by my side and we went through a lot together. She will always be part of my history, maybe its not big deal that sometimes after only 4 months of our definitive break up I still fell like this. I’m sure these feelings will soften over time… maybe I just need to be a little more gentle to myself, something that I don’t usually do regarding this subject. What do you think?

Thank you again!!

• This reply was modified 6 years, 3 months ago by Vicente.