Dear noname:

Unless we heal from childhoods that hurt us a lot, a process that takes a lot of time, we keep living the same life experience that we had as children.

“I feel hopeless” just as you felt as a child.

You feel that you “got no one” and that you have to “keep taking care of (yourself)”, having no one to take care of you, just like then.

“I don’t feel like anyone can help me”, just like then, when you were a child, needing help day in and day out and there was no one to help you, so you gave up, believing help is not possible for you.

“I get angry … when my feelings aren’t kept in mind”, just like then. Your feelings were not kept in the minds of your mother and father.

“I get angry.. when people lie or cheat on me”, just like then. Your mother and father said things to you that weren’t true. First you felt good hearing those things, but you soon found out they were not true.

Just like then, when you were a child, you first feel good, “a sense of safety”, but having been lied to by your parents before, the feeling of safety doesn’t last, and you become distrusting and angry (“I’m becoming distrusting of the person then I might get angry”).

Basically, you keep living your childhood experience while being in a grown man body operating in adult life circumstances.

anita