Hey Dreaming 715, thanks for sharing! I can definitely relate to what you’re saying. I feel very fortunate to have a good support system and family in place, especially a girlfriend who accepts me for who I am regardless of if I do. It seems like you have good practices in mind, and I trust that you have been making plans to try to work toward your goals.

I think the most important thing to realize is that your identity and worth are not defined by your work, income, physical shape, etc. One thing that I have been doing is every time I feel negative thoughts or internal spinning, I just write down how I feel in that exact moment and what causes me to feel that way. For example, if I’m stressed about a bad grade or performance at my job, I would write down something like “I feel stressed because I have a deadline soon and I need to do well on X.” I began to talk out loud with myself to figure out the root of my stress and unhappiness and what is contributing to the feeling.

This isn’t a scientifically based practice, but what really spoke to me was how we often spin, stress about things, and let thoughts and shame linger in our minds. When I put those words on paper or speak them out loud, I was usually able to calm myself down and give myself perspective after thinking things through. My words and negative thoughts had less and less power over me. Talking about positive experiences and things happening in my life even in the midst of pursuing your goals and working on your weaknesses usually gave me the perspective and calm internal mood to keep going and working better.

I would give it a shot and see how it works out. Self-love and accepting oneself is an action, and thus requires practice. So be patient with yourself along the process. I believe you and hope you realize you are good enough just as you are!