Mark,

This is something I’ve thought about a lot.  Knowing or expecting to get something out of a friendship/relationship seems a little cold, but, on some level, I agree there should be “something” good about it, right?  And, yes, as embarrassing as it is to admit, I don’t think I am getting anything even remotely good out of it.  I say embarrassing because I thought, truly thought, there was something there, hidden, that I might discover would have made all of this worth it eventually.

We are so involved in each other’s lives because we dated for 15 months and know each other on a fairly intimate level.  That there might be a co-dependence is not untrue.  Again, not an easy thing to admit, that you’d rather have a possibly unhealthy relation from someone you should have cut cords with a long time ago, rather than nothing.

I’m a very introverted person and no, I do not have many friends.  I don’t find it easy to make friends and I don’t enjoy social/group settings.  Quite frankly, I’m at an age when I don’t even know how to make new friends (not trying to play the sympathy card here, just a fact).  I’ve hung on to that relation because it exists.  It’s there, it’s known and familiar, and if it weren’t, I would probably feel isolated.