Dear dom:

Reads to me that you tried your best to reach your brother and that he persistently rejected your efforts to help him, even saying “very hurtful things” to you when you talk kindly to him. You wrote that you feel helpless, and indeed, reads to me that you are helpless as far as successfully helping him. In other words, it is not possible for you to help him.

This is one situation where the part of the serenity prayer that states: “grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change” can be helpful. It is difficult to accept painful realities, but if you do manage to accept this or that painful reality, you no longer try to change it, and so you no longer focus on it and get exhausted trying the impossible yet again, and again.

anita