Dear Bree:

You wrote: “our morals line up really nicely”- not the moral of keeping one’s promises. He broke his promises repeatedly. You didn’t, did you?

“I feel we have something really special. We have a deep connection, something I’ve never felt before”- this is a subjective experience, your own. But what is his subjective experience? Let’s see: “He said he’s not himself and that he’s been struggling with this  for over a year… it’s not working and that he needs to find himself”- for over a year he didn’t find himself in that “deep connection” that you experienced. I think the connection with you wasn’t that deep and convincing for him as it was for you.

“After the countless number of broken promises, do you think he’ll really be able to find himself and change?” No, I don’t think so. He may need to find himself, whatever it means to him. Thing is, you already found him, you know he broke his promises countless times. It was easy for you so far to find his broken promises because his promises were about practical matters. How easy it would be for him to break this vague promise “to find himself”. How could you possibly follow him keeping that promise…

“Or do you think he’s shown his true colors and that I should move on?”- I think he did show his breaking-promises color and that you should move on.

“he doesn’t want to face the backlash of his parents”- it is possible that his parents are against the relationship because of, or partly because of negative things he shared with them about you/ the relationship, because he has been conflicted about it for some time.

Did he share with you the reasons for or the nature of his parents’ objections?

anita