Anita,

I tried being that third party and submissive person, someone who initiates taking care of his family. Yet I have only received a third grade treatment and it is difficult for me to keep doing it. I have tIoo much self-esteem to give and then treated like the way I get treated. They wont even talk to me unless and untill I have to cook for him or their grandchild. when they were visiting and staying at my sister in law’s house, they would invite him over but not me. I think I have become older and grown tired of these societal pressures. I was never built for one anyway. So I have requested him that my concept of family is going to be nuclear and just the three of us, he doesnt agree to that and thinks I have betrayed him.

He can be a very abusive man if he wants and also loving, all in the same day. His pride gets hurt easily and when that happens he is scary to be around. I am going to go to a therapist because he doesn’t realize himself how he gets. Can you believe if I say, i also work for a boss who is similar to that?

I think it is our society’s problem. We do not teach boys to be aware of their emotions. We only teach them how to be good in school and extracurriculars. I hope I can teach at least a small fraction to my son so that he grows with some emotional intelligence.

Anita I hope your suffering and experience with “possessive and intrusive” is handled well at this point. Thanks for sharing something, always happy to offer what I can.

Gigi